Last Saturday I went to a performance of the Dutch Celtic band Rapalje. I've seen them a few times now, but I still love them. In fact, I clapped so hard during the show that my ring finger is now black and blue cos I forgot I was wearing quite a massive ring. I know, it's stupid, but I think we're all allowed to do stupid things every now and then :)
Next Friday I'll be off to a show of the Pagan band Omnia – another treat to the ears!

The thing about getting used to these smaller scaled performances is that you expect to have tickets no matter how late you plan to book it; well that gave me a lot of frustration today when I wanted to get tickets to the Kings of Leon, and they were all sold out. Damn, that sucked. Now I don't only have a bruised finger, now I have also run out of nails; I bit them all during the 20 minute phone call I had with the ticket office, and it hurts.

That's my problem; in my heart I'm this rough-though-rock chick, but the rest of me is just a doubtful wallflower, constantly wondering whether I should go to places. I mean, what if people talk to me, and I have to talk back? That would be a disaster, wouldn't it? So then I wait till last minute to get all my nerves together...and then it's mostly too late.
*snif*

So what do you do when you're frustrated? You eat!

So here is a lovely fast-food(ish) kind of pasta recipe for you:

Boil some pasta (any type will do, amounts depend on how hungry you are), and in another pan roast some pine nuts. When they're roasted throw them in a bowl and add some olives, a can of tuna (without the oil), some capers, Italian herbs (Basil, Oregano, Thyme) and add mayonaise, ketchup and a little bit of mustard to taste. Stir, and add the boiled pasta. Sprinkle a little grated cheese on top, stir some more and you'll have some great food!

To fill the void, here a clip of a great band and a wonderful song:

In 1286 William was born into the family of John the 2nd, count of Holland and Philippa of Luxembourg. Upon his fathers death in 1304 he became the new count of Hainaut, Avesnes, Holland and Zeeland and ruled until his death on the 7th of June 1337 in Valenciennes, France. He was then 56 years old.

During his lifetime he fought in several battles, was in war with Flanders and tried to set up an anti-French coalition, yet in 1305 he was married to Jean of Valois (Cir. 1294 – 7 March 1342), the sister of Philip the VI, King of France.

With Jean he had several children, among which Margaret II of Avesnes (1311 – June 23, 1356) who married Holy Roman Emperor Louis IV, and Philippa of Hainault (June 24, 1311 – August 15, 1369) who married King Edward the 3rd of England on the 24 January 1328.

Around 1320, in Le Quesnoy, France, his mistress Lady de Moor gave birth to their son Jan Aelman. Though a knight, he was considered no more than a bastard and when the son of his halfsister Margaret, duke Albert of Bavaria, died he lost the lands that were once given him.
Jan was buried on the 16th of December 1389 in Valenciennes, France, 69 years old.

the bloodline, in two ways:

through my grandfather:

1. William I, Count of Hainaut (1286 – June 7, 1337)
2. Jan Aelman (Cir 1320 – 16 Dec 1389)
3. Willem de Moor (Cir 1345 – Aft 31 Oct 1421)
4. Dammas Willemsz Aleman (Cir 1375 – Aft 1466)
5. Jan Dammasz Aleman (Cir 1410 – unknown)
6. Maarten Jansz Aleman (Cir 1440 – unknown)
7. Klaas Maartensz Aleman (Cir 1480 – unknown)
8. Dammes Klaasz Aleman (Cir 1515 – Aft 1568)
9. Klaas Dammesz Aleman (Cir 1562 – Aft 1620)
10. Meijndert Aleman (Cir 1582 – Bef 29 May 1670) (I descent from both his sons, see line grandmother)
11. Wouter Aleman * (Cir 1624 – unknown) (I descent from both his sons, see line grandmother)
12. Claes Aleman ** (Cir 1665 – unknown)
13. Cornelis Aleman (Cir 1693 – unknown)
14. Lientje Aleman (Chr. 19 Jun 1718 – unknown)
15. Jacomijntje Roon (Chr. 4 May 1755 – unknown)
16. Lena Ruijgentuin (24 Oct 1784 – unknown)
17. Jan de Vogel (14 Dec 1823 – unknown)
18. Lena de Vogel (7 Mar 1854 – unknown)
19. Kommer de Vogel (16 Jul 1883 – 9 May 1983)
20. Jan Adrianus de Vogel (26 Mar 1913 – 27 Nov 1995)
21. Maatje “Living” (7 Dec 1952 ~ )
22. Nathalie “Living” (25 Jun 1983 ~ )

1. William I, Count of Hainaut (1286 – June 7, 1337)
2. Jan Aelman (Cir 1320 - 16 Dec 1389)
3. Willem de Moor (Cir 1345 – Aft 31 Oct 1421)
4. Dammas Willemsz Aleman (Cir 1375 – Aft 1466)
5. Jan Dammasz Aleman (Cir 1410 – unknown)
6. Maarten Jansz Aleman (Cir 1440 – unknown)
7. Klaas Maartensz Aleman (Cir 1480 – unknown)
8. Dammes Klaasz Aleman (Cir 1515 – Aft 1568)
9. Klaas Dammesz Aleman (Cir 1562 – Aft 1620)
10. Meijndert Aleman (Cir 1582 - Bef 29 May 1670)
11. Dirk Aleman * (1613 – unknown)
12. Cornelis Aleman (Chr. 16 Mar 1664 – 5 Jul 1745) / Cornelis Aleman ** (Chr. 14 Apr 1658 – unknown)
13. Dirk Aleman (Chr. 17 Jul 1695 – 15 Mar 1773) / Meindert Aleman (Chr. 16 Apr 1690 – unknown)
14. Abel Aleman (Chr. 3 Oct 1730 – unknown) / Joost Aleman (Chr. 5 Apr 1716 –Cir 5 Sep 1797)
15. Pieternella Aleman (Chr. 6 Feb 1757 – unknown) / Pieter Aleman (Chr. 15 Mar 1739 – unknown)
16. Cornelia Hoek (Chr. 2 Mar 1788 – unknown) / Tona Aleman (19 Feb 1782 – 24 Jan 1829)
17. Gerrit Tanis (10 Mar 1818 – unknown) / Salomon Ihrman (11 Jun 1816 – unknown)
18. Jan Tanis (18 Mar 1848 – unknown) / Cornelia Ihrman (9 Jan 1851 – unknown)
19. Willem Tanis (6 Mar 1881 - 29 Aug 1959) / Maatje Komttebed (4 Jun 1882 – 3 Sep 1966) Willem Tanis and Maatje Komttebed were married and the parents of Antje.
20. Antje Tanis (30 Jan 1915 - 10 May 2003)
21. Maatje “Living” (7 Dec 1952 ~ )
22. Nathalie “Living” (25 Jun 1983 ~ )

I'm a big dreamer, so one of the things I enjoy doing is think about past era's and how life must have been in those days. I sometimes kid that I was born in the wrong age. Knowing this it probably won't come as much as a surprise that I'm fascinated by history and my family tree.

When a few years back I first started to write down my family ties I didn't even hope I would get far back in time, but luckily some part of my family turned out to be nobility and royalty, which meant the information about their, and therefore my own, family was very well documented over hundreds and hundreds of years.

Now, years later, and I'm still not finished recording my family tree. I don't just stick to my direct ancestors, I also keep track of their siblings and their descendants...when it's finished it's basically my life's work. To get more in touch, get more feeling, with the names of those ancestors who lived so many centuries ago, and whose blood, though ever more thinned and hardly leaving their mark, is still running through my veins, I will as of today every now and then pick out a person and tell you a little bit more about them, so that they will be remembered, if only just by me.

In the next post I will start with an ancestor who was the last nobleman (or first, depending how you look at it) in my family tree. His son, a bastard child, founded a family of 'commoners' from which I descend.

So. While my food happily cooks away in the steamer (yes...I said I would start doing healthy things again!), I have time to write a little post.

My first day of work after New Year is over. Lots of kissing and handshaking (more of a must, then that I actually like doing it) and wishing everyone the same as they wish for me to have.
I feel these good wishes are more of a habit, a custom, than something that is really meant. You shake hands or kiss people you usually wouldn't even think of talking too; just because it's rude to ignore them when you're doing 'your round'. Ah well, perhaps it's good this only happens once a year.

Now. What are my plans for this year, money-wise? I don't have a lot of money, but that which I do have, I love to spend, preferably just that little bit more too.
So, what to do, what to do? Shall I finally redo my bedroom? So buy a new double bed, wardrobe, dressing table, and even do some new carpet? Or shall I go to...Scotland? The bedroom is more expensive, but can be enjoyed the whole year round, whereas Scotland is better for the wallet, but can only be enjoyed for a short period of time (that is if I don't settle there, and if not than at least the memory will last forever...that is if I don't get dementia of course). At the moment I'm feeling more for Scotland, but then, a new bed also isn't that much of a luxury.

Ah, the difficulty of choice. So many things to do and such little time!

option A

option B
not too sure if you'd be getting a Ewan McGregor with it though...

Okay, I'm going to finish my meal now, it tastes really good. Yay, who'd have thought?!

First of all dear reader: I wish you all the best in the new year!
For most people the end – or start – of a year is a time for reflection and new years resolutions. Though normally I don't necessarily wait until the 1st of January to break with bad habits, I have noticed - or perhaps accepted - that I haven't exactly taken good care of myself in these last few months; both physically and mentally I've 'let myself go'.

Where in the first half of 2008 I was so in control of my diet (eating healthy, exercising etc), in the second half of the year I simply stopped doing that. I gained 5 kilos (not too much you might think, but since I've been struggling with weight problems since childhood, being 30 kilos overweight at my heaviest, you probably can understand that if I don't take care then all my good work has been for nothing). And if that wasn't bad enough these last few weeks my diet was so unhealthy that a vitamin shortage caused my gums to bleed. So, with some difficulty – and even I don't know why it's so hard to break bad habits that clearly do you wrong – I decided this morning that I couldn't go on this way. I took a proper breakfast, dug out my walking shoes and went for an hour long walk in the crisp morning. At first I wondered why I hadn't just stayed in bed, but a few minutes later I was enjoying every step, every breath of cold fresh air, and every birdsong I heard. And I wondered why I had ever stopped taking these walks.

And as I was walking I realized that in these same last months I had totally stopped all spiritual activity. I haven't been meditating, doing any rituals, studying my druidry lessons or reading any of my pagan books. And worst of all, I had completely isolated myself from my (pagan) friends both in real life and on the web. At the time it felt good, not having anyone talking to me or having to talk to anyone, but now I realize that this wasn't a good thing at all. Now, I'm not a doctor, but looking back at these last months I think I've been going through a form of depression. I focused every little energy I had on work, and besides that I couldn't or didn't want to do anything else.

Instead of looking out the window and enjoying the change of seasons, all I did was worry about getting to work when it was snowing or freezing. Somehow it feels as if these last few months I haven't been living. I can't really remember anything as if I have been nothing more than a shadow.

As I'm typing this I can see red robins, magpies and green parakeets or small parrots (lord knows where they came from) enjoying the birdseeds I've put out a few days ago. And I wonder how I could have missed seeing these beautiful birds before today. I think I have only just woken up.